Ways to Ruin Zero Requiem V2
by AlchemicChimeraLeech
Summary: Yes, I'm back with a V2 like CG's R2. Zero Requiem is ruined some more. All for the sake of Lulu... Not so much Zaku.
1. Regular Guys

**Disclaimer: I don't own CG**

It was a usual evening for the residence of Britannia palace... Or as usual as it can get with the demon emperor and his undead knight around anyways. It was several days set before zero requiem was set to take place. Lelouch and Suzaku were for once not contemplating Lelouch's death and Suzaku's newfound identity. What were they doing, drinking as any normal young men were.

"Lelouch, do ya know what I'll miss by being you?" Suzaku questioned while on his fifth beer.

"What?" Asked Lelouch half dazed on his seventh, while he looked very fragile, he was somewhat able to hold his liquor.

"I'll become a hermit, a crab, I'll never experience sex, love..." Suzaku rambling on unknowingly plotting his own misfortune.

"..." Lelouch was in a scheming mode... Which isn't usually a good thing considering the many schemes he'd came up with as Zero, this time involving Suzaku and partly inhibited.

A few days later, the boys were out drinking again. The only normal thing they did together anymore. Unfortunately the post drinking session was quite traumatic for one Suzaku Kururugi.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Suzaku screeched as he woke up in a tangle of bodies with pink hair. What happened last night? Who were these people? Did he? Did they? Let see, he went out drinking his sorrows away with Lulu last night, Lulu then pushed him into a room, locked him in there and he couldn't remember much else. Lelouch?! That scheming bastard! What came over him to plan this! He fumed considering his options.

Day of reckoning. Lelouch was on his float, preparing for zero requiem, Suzaku should come any minute now. The final phase is set. Ah, he sees him.

Suzaku charged, he wanted revenge. Oh no, Lelouch already had his way once, he is not going to have his way again! He charged pass the guards, Orange, unto the float and to Lelouch. He disarmed him... Then nothing.

What was that idiot doing! Why wasn't zero requiem being completed.

"You're not getting your way again!" Suzaku shouted as he threw away the sword and took off his mask. The masses, black knights, royalty were dumbfounded. Wasn't he dead? How was he Zero?

"... My way?!" Lulu was confused and dumbfounded at zero requiem being ruined.

"You took away my virginity!" Suzaku cried.

"What?!" Lulu and the rest of the world wondered and in turned replied. The black knights and royalty were confused, Kallen was very angry, she kissed the man.

"You have very... Interesting tastes brother, I now finally know why you decided to chain people up in such fashion" The chained up Schneizel remarked.

"..." Lelouch didn't know what to make of the situation or those remarks.

"When exactly did this happen? And you're ruining zero requiem." Lelouch finally replied while hissing the last part.

"Like hell I care about that you pervert! What made you think I'd want an orgy?!" Suzaku fumed while the world and Lulu was even more dumbfounded.

"My my, never knew that my little brother is that... Kinky. But do keep the details to yourself Kururugi, I don't need to know how my brother is between the sheets." Only Schneizel was able to give a reply.

"Not with him! He set me up with random people! Your brother isn't normal, why would he do that?" Suzaku directed his question to the chained brother while Lelouch was still confused.

"He was always oddly exception." Schneizel reminisced.

"When did this happen?" Lelouch finally replied.

"You set me up, don't play dumb!"

"... I'm not."

"You are."

"Am not."

"Kids, kids why don't we get to how this occurred". Surprisingly, it was Schneizel who was the adult in the room. Suzaku went on to ranting about his ordeal and how Lelouch really was the devil reincarnated.

Lelouch was speechless... When did he... Oh wait, it was during that night, Suzaku was ranting about the woes of being Zero. He came up with a plan... And apparently carried it through. Oh, so that's why Suzaku was angry. Oh, that's why he thought that Lelouch was a devil. Oh...

Lelouch promptly fainted after knowing what he unintentionally did to his former best friend. There was no feasible way of solving this. Suzaku glared, the black knights, royals and masses were just flabbergasted at the odd situation.

Needless to say, zero requiem never came to be. It wasn't revenge enough for Suzaku who vowed to get Lelouch back, he'd rather him be alive for that.

 _Author's notes: I'm sure you can guess what Zaku finally lost, mainly due to a drunk Lulu. Anyhow years after and I'm back with more ways to ruin zero requiem. Needless to say quite a lot had happened during this time, including family member passing away... But this year have been quite unusual so getting back on here again. =D_

 _Suzaku: You... you... you..._

 _Lelouch:... I can't believe she found away to take away everything. You lost almost everything in the first series... This woman is more insane than CC!_


	2. Blond Midget

**Disclaimer: You know the drill...**

Lelouch was prepared for the day of reckoning, the end of it all, his requiem among other titles and names that he'd like to think of for his death. Dressed in formal royal white, he set off on his float.

Ah, he sees Suzaku in the distance now. Everything was as planned. He got passed the guards, check. He got pass Orange, check. Everything was as planned until Suzaku was in the proximity of the prisoners. A blinding light then a blond midget appeared... Who was fighting with Suzaku. Where did the midget came from? Why was he attacking Suzaku?

One Edward Elric was very pissed, he just sacrificed himself to get his brother's body back now the Gate sends him to a world where a guy in a costume was attacking him. What happened to Germany?

Suzaku didn't know what was going on, who was the midget who was attacking him very ferociously. Owwww... He was trying to get to Lelouch but the midget keeps on getting in his way!

"Stop attacking me you midget!" Suzaku shouted as the masses, royals and black knight watched on unaware that it was a very wrong thing to say.

"Who are you calling so small that he could be mistaken for an ant if he wore all black!" Edward screeched and was now in his intense fighting mode, also helping him automail.

Suzaku unaware of the fury unleashed attempted to block the attacks with little success. He was trained in the martial arts, yes. But he's usually in a Knightmare. The midget hits really hard. More owwwww.

You'd think they'd be evenly matched, but Suzaku had to throw away the sword to try and defend himself from the insane midget. And all it took was a very hard punch from Ed's automail arm to his mask to ruin Lelouch's planning for months.

"Stop attacking me! I'm not trying to attack you." Suzaku finally got a few words in between trying to defend himself.

"Who are you trying to attack then?!" Edward Elric finally slowed in his punches.

Suzaku pointed at Lelouch. The world, black knights and royals were confused. The undead knight of zero was trying to kill the demon emperor? Something doesn't add up.

"Oh." Ed replied finally stopped attacking the now unmasked man.

Edward Elric was just as confused. Ok, so the Gate didn't try to jerk him around that much. So where was he and why was that raven girl glaring daggers at him. Lelouch fumed. His plans, ruined because of a midget, because of a midget!

"So where am I, who are you and who's she?" Edward questioned pointing at Lelouch. Milly watched in glee.

Lelouch fumed some more, who's she?! Not only had the blond midget ruined his plans, now he was mocking him!

Suzaku had the difficult task of answering said questions. After conversing with the blond he found out that within his world there was also a world of C... Sort of... That jerked him around.

Edward Elric was pouting and crossing his arms, all he wanted now were answers, completely unaware of the mastermind plan that he and the Gate ruined. Lelouch fumed silently. New plan, operation eliminate midget.

 _Author's Note: I'm sure that you can see this is a crossover between CG and FMA not FMAB. since they both have gates of sorts, so wrong place, wrong time for Ed. =D When he sacrificed himself in FMA, it took him to the end of CG instead of where he was suppose to go. While Suzaku and Edward are both athletic, remember the automail advantage._

 _Edward: I'M NOT A MIDGET!_

 _Suzaku:... Just be glad that all she's doing is calling you a midget, if the original How to Ruin Zero Requiem wasn't enough, there's a V2._

 _Lelouch: My plan... All because of a vertically challenged person._

 _Lelouch gets chased around by Edward for that remark._


	3. Time's Apprentice

**Zaku: She owns nothing... Thank goodness, sort off... Can someone save me please!**

It was the day of the world's rebirth. The world's new beginning. Lelouch thought as he prepared for his master plan zero requiem. Everything was set, the stage, the people, his clothing.

Suzaku was as prepared as he ever was to kill his former best friend. He was set, getting pass the guards, pass Orange, disarming Lelouch. As he finally set his sword onto Lelouch... Something went horribly wrong.

Lelouch didn't know how he got here, one minute he was disarmed by Suzaku. Next he was in the crowds... And Zero was stabbing a mattress in his place?! The world, black knights and royals were flabbergasted at Zero's actions.

Suzaku was very confused, one minute he was about the stab the demon emperor... Who by some fluke turned into a mattress. Why was he stabbing a mattress?!

The demon emperor didn't know what to do either... His Zero persona... Ruined. Instead of doing great things, he was attacking a mattress. How did this came to be?

Second attempt. Lelouch had to reset the stage. The media had a field day with Zero and his mattress. Suzaku was sulking, his ego was bruised due to it.

The float and everything else was set. Suzaku got pass the guards, Orange, and just disarmed the demon emperor and was about to stab him... When the sword became much too heavy and clothing much to loose.

"Wahhhhhhhhh!" Lelouch wasn't faced with his doom, on no, it was Suzaku... As a 5 year old. How? Who was messing with him? CC? The world of C? The world wondered who the kid was, the black knights and royals knew. Cecile cooed over how cute Suzaku was. Milly wanted to cuddle and dress the kid up.

Suzaku wasn't happy. He was 5 again, with the mind of a 17 year old. Why was he 5? Lelouch looked dumbfounded... Before picking him up. Wait, why was he being picked up. He pouted. He was wrapped around in the demon emperor's cloak as Lelouch tried very hard not to knock himself unconscious.

The world was confused... Why was the demon emperor taking care of someone that tried to kill him? Zero requiem was a fail... A 5 year old Suzaku couldn't do much. Lelouch sulked.

Meanwhile in the realm of time and space Rolo was having a laugh. He was time's apprentice and to say that he didn't like the original timeline was a major understatement. Though he was an assassin, the world of C did owned his brother, he picked up a few tricks while being with Lelouch too. That debt was paid onto him. He never liked the self righteous Suzaku... Too bad he couldn't kill him. Oh well, messing with time and space was fun too, now how long should Suzaku stay a chibi for? He pondered.

 _Author's Note: This is based on Rolo's geass, the ability to stop time temporarily. Now he's messing with time/space big time due to his new role, technically he should be in hell/the underworld. But do remember he was Lulu's fake brother for a year, Lulu gets out of the most impossible situations. Review please and am open to suggestions again, as long as I can make it make sense. =3_

 _Rolo: Yay, I get to ruin brother's plans. Why couldn't I just wipe out Suzaku's existence though?_

 _Suzaku: ..._

 _Author: Timeline issue._


	4. Pinch, Grope

**Zaku: Fellow writers, please save me from this woman's maniac ideas... I can't afford to lose more things! If I have anything more to lose...**

The day of reckoning was upon Lelouch and his Knight. Everything was set, the stage, the float, their costumes. One would think that with months of preparation, all would go well. It was not the case.

Suzaku as Zero wasn't the only one that appeared when the float set off... There was a hoard of girls that appeared out of nowhere. Orange and the guards couldn't do much since they appeared to be civilians?

"Protect Lulu format number 73!" Shouted one of the many fan girls, as a group of girls surrounded Lelouch... With metal baseball bats among other casual weapons.

What?! Protect Lulu! Who were these people, why were they ruining his plans?! Why did they feel the need to protect him! His usual fan girls weren't like this...

Suzaku wasn't faring very well... Which is an understatement. He was barely passed the guards when his Zero costume was ripped apart, his sword taken away... And hands touching where they shouldn't.

"Eeep!" As hands pinched and groped his backside. Suzaku was very uncomfortable. Who were these people?!

"It really is firm." A Suzaku fan girl said in awe.

"Agreed." by another fan boy.

"Lelouch! Help! I'm being..." As Suzaku shouted for his dignity as the world, black knights and royals watched on as the former un-dead Knight of Zero was being for the lack of a better word... Molested.

Lelouch's eye twitched... These people...Who were they and what did they had against Suzaku!

"... So, ummm who are you people?" Kallen had the sense to ask a nearby girl with chain mail and a very large pair of scissors.

Fan girl #4558 launched into a detailed explanation of Code Geass, why she hated the ending and pulled out her laptop to show the world how the end was suppose to go. The world, black knight and royals watch in awe. Lelouch had a very big headache... While Suzaku was trying to detach himself for his very enthusiastic fans... To put it mildly. Even Milly felt sorry for the poor guy.

Zero Requiem was beyond a lost cause. Lelouch was plain irritated... While Suzaku was searching for a way to retain his dignity. Toudou couldn't believe the difference between his pupil and the royal brat's fans. The latter was unusually protective... While Suzaku's were well... Very hands on. He didn't need to see that. Schneizel, Cornelia and Nunnally were thankful after being shown the truth, though now they all held various level of grudges against Suzaku for being willing to go through with Lulu's stupid plan! The most intense being the Witch of Britannia. The Black Knights now knew the full history of their mistakes, they didn't know what to do... But they felt sorry for Suzaku... The poor guy had no chance against rapid fan girls. Especially those that wanted a piece of him... Or worse, revenge for hurting Lulu.

 _Author's Note: Fan girls galore, Lulu is preserved... While Zaku's well... You read it. =p_

 _Suzaku:*Cries* stop torturing me, now I'm being... I'm being..._

 _Toudou: I'm signing you to therapy and get better fan girls!_

 _Suzaku:...I don't get to decide who my fans are though..._


	5. My What!

**Zaku: Save me with a cherry on top...?**

It was a fairly average day as Lelouch and Suzaku both prepared for zero requiem, the stage was set. Zero got pass the guards, Orange, disarmed and was just about to stab Lelouch... When he was lifted midair.

"We can't have that can we Schneizel." Stated one royal who was very much suppose to be dead, Clovis la Britannia. As he plucked the mask off Suzaku's face and forced away his sword... Mind you it wasn't very hard since the boy was in a state of shock, as was the rest of the world.

"... You're suppose to be dead, I killed you." Stated Lelouch as the rest of the world, black knights and royals went into more shock with this tidbit of info.

"Well, I was little brother. But you see I'm now Kururugi's incubus. Also here to stop your silly little zero requiem." Clovis stated with a full teeth smile.

"What?!" The royal became a what! And what was zero requiem? The world thought and analyzed the situation, undead Knight of Zero who tried to kill the demon emperor who also had an... Incubus now. Yea, this was getting weird.

Suzaku internally cursed, what in the world. Who would think he want one and one of the most eccentric royals?!

"Now Zaku, even though I'm your incubus, for life. I will not allow you to harm little Lulu in any way. Understand." Clovis said with a deadly smile.

"Yes..." Was all he could reply.

"Now, off to do my duties." Stated Clovis who was dragging Suzaku who was trying to get away.

Zero Requiem failed. Suzaku was trying to keep Clovis from doing his duties. Lelouch undid the geass on Schniezel since he knew how to handle Clovis best... It didn't help. Suzaku was begging Lelouch to undo the live command, it didn't work. Lelouch started of with CC since she had no answer either, she just laughed. Staying the palace would mean more begging from Suzaku, or watching him being molested by Clovis... He didn't need that.

Suzaku had little sympathy from Schneizel, he begged Lelouch to allow him to end, just to have him disappeared on him... Apparently Clovis resolved the issue of Euphy's death. Nunnally just laughed. Cornelia, yes he ever begged her to do something just coldly stated that Clovis was his.

The Black Knights felt very sorry for Kururugi and actually tried to help. Key word, tried.

"At least your incubus isn't Charles zi Britannia." Was Kallen's attempt to comfort him, it didn't. Only traumatizing him and those who heard it.

"Please refrain from talking about my father in such a manner." Was Schneizel's formal reply.

"I need to wash my ears." Stated Cornelia.

Suzaku wailed... He didn't want an incubus, why would the world think he'd need one, why a member of the royal family?!

 _Author's Note: Clovis came back. =3_

 _Clovis: Yay, I'm alive, sort of. *Hugs Suzaku*_

 _Kallen: Yay, traumatized the bastard._

 _Suzaku: Stop MOLESTING me!*Runs like a maniac after being hugged*_

 _Clovis: I only hugged him..._

 _Kallen: He have issues._


	6. Babbling, Biting

**Zaku: Please help me out of this story, I need OUT.**

It was the day of reckoning, the day that a demon emperor will end, the end of tyranny... And any other titles that you can use on the supposed melodramatic ending of Lelouch vi Britannia.

Suzaku charged pass the guards, defeated Orange, disarmed and was just about to stab Lelouch... When a golden flash of light occurred. The result, a chibi Lelouch vi Britannia currently in his terrible twos.

Ok... He was NOT stabbing a baby... Even if that baby happened to be the demon emperor. The world, royals and black knights were just confused.

"Ero quill!"(Zero Requiem) As one little Lulu babbled, he still happened to have his very mature mind.

Suzaku chose to reply by taking off his mask, sighing while picking up Lelouch and saying.

"No Lelouch, no more Zero Requiem, I'm not stabbing a baby."

Never mind that the world, royals and black knights were in shock that the Knight of Zero is alive and currently holding one very adorable demon emperor. What was zero requiem?

"Evil Zaku, you uin plans!" As one very irritated Lelouch vi Britannia babbled while hitting, scratching, biting and pulling Suzaku's hair... He ruined his months of planning!

"Owwww, owwww, owww! Lelouch stop mimicking Arthur!" Suzaku cried... Defending himself from a baby. How had it came to this? He had to get rid of him, to who? Nunnally should be able to handle him.

The undead Knight of Zero handed the very adorable demon emperor to Nunnally. Kallen spoke up with a very intense "tell me or I'll maim you" glare.

"So Suzaku. What exactly is zero requiem?" She stated very coldly. And she wasn't the only one glaring at him.

"Suzaku, were you originally intending on stabbing my brother?" Nunnally stated with a smile promising pain. She saw what her brother was planning when Suzaku handed him off to her.

"I believe that is exactly what Kururugi intended to do based on his and Lelouch's interaction." Stated Schneizel.

"... Well, it started like this" Suzaku had no other option but to go into the details of the requiem. Kallen and Nunnally glaring at him, the black knights scrutinizing him. Even the Schneizel gave his input which did not bid well for him.

Meanwhile the world of C and Marianne vi Britannia were content, their Lulu was safe.

 _Author's Note: This is to fulfill two requests, by guest and ryo. Turn Lulu into a kid and C messing with him. Now in this context, Marianne's conscious partly transferred to C, remember that her geass allowed her to transfer bodies. She died in C's world... And also found out that C's a teenage girl from Akito. -_-'''''''''''_

 _Lelouch: So... You ruined my plans by making me... Cute._

 _Suzaku: Still better than my scenarios! And she's right. I'm not stabbing a baby._

 _Lelouch: B-but zero requiem..._


	7. Old Grannies

**Lulu: Someone help Suzaku out of this story by writing one of your own, Anti How to Ruin Zero Requiem?**

It was the day of reckoning, Lelouch's death yadayadayada... You know the drill. The float, the demon including the author's favorite torture subject was set.

The float was on it's way, however it was not all it seemed. Lelouch was quite baffled, there was a group of old gypsies with a few horse carts on the same path as his float going the opposite direction. Who dares defy the demon emperor? Old grannies apparently.

Suzaku charged on to the path. Huh? Why was there horse carts on the demon emperor's parade route? Never mind that, zero requiem is at stake... He ignored them. Big mistake.

As Zero passed the groups of gypsies, one of them grabbed his cape, pulling him back to them.

"Now now young man, it's not polite to be masked in daylight and it's dangerous to have a sword." Granny number five said, unmasking and disarming him. How? The world watched and was baffled, the black knights and royals in shock the Knight of Zero alive. Lelouch's eye was twitching. They... They... Ruined his plans for politeness?!

That wasn't the end for Suzaku who was in sheer shock at the grannies' use of force and strength.

"Such a firm backside." Stated granny number seven, eleven and five as they groped the now unmasked Zero.

"Such a firm chest." As Suzaku was pawed by multiple grannies.

"Eeeeep, help! Lelouch!" Suzaku cried. Lelouch's eye twitched more.

"What a thin waist, we need to get you fatten up young man." Another granny said as the band got their prey and turned around and left.

Zero Requiem was officially ruined... Lelouch had a huge headache, he had to explain things to Cornelia as she charged in for a mini coup along with the Black Knights and his other siblings. He tried to rescue Suzaku from the clutches of the grannies... They were much too perverted for his taste, almost or even worst than Milly...

As for Suzaku, he was living the gypsies life with old grannies that either wanted to fatten him up like a lamb to slaughter... Or feel him up. Lelouch tried to rescue him, but sped away as soon as they attempted the same with him. What was he suppose to do now?!

 _Author's Note: Inspired by the grannies from Akito, who really were... Well imagine them in the requiem. =3_

 _Zaku: I get... That... By grannies._

 _Lulu: Out of all people to ruin..._


	8. Free Fall

**Zaku: Release me from this torture!**

It was the day of reckoning, the day that the demon emperor ends aka the melodramatic death of Lelouch. The emperor sat on his float awaiting his white death, it came.

Suzaku charged, passed the prisoners, pass Orange and was in the process of disarming Lelouch when he was rudely interrupted.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Shrieked Kamui Shiro, formerly Dragon of Heaven, formerly also stabbed now falling, falling, falling right on to one Suzaku Kururugi.

"Owww..." The former savior of the world stated, disregarding that he just landed on someone... And also ruined some major plans.

Kamui Shiro was like a deer in headlights, looking wondering where he was. One minute he was stabbed by Fuma, now he was in an alternative universe, he didn't die? The world, royals and black knights were wondering who the Lelouch look a like was, the boy was also very pretty... Where did he came from? Lelouch's eye twitched, who was this look a like who was ruining his plans?!

Suzaku meanwhile was ignored by everyone, even though he had someone fall on him who came from no where.

"Get off me!" He finally managed while straightening his back, for a small guy he certainly weighted a lot. Unaware that during the mishap his mask also fell off. Revealing the undead Knight of Zero which baffled the audience.

When he finally realized he saw Lelouch in normal colors instead of shades of blue, Suzaku made a very obvious statement.

"Lelouch, I think your plan failed."

This did not help Lelouch, who was attempting to grill his look a like... This did not end well. Kamui Shiro went into his angst mode and went on a long intense monologue about choose the fate of the world, his best friend becoming his twin star, his best friend's sister being stabbed by said star, how he and his twin star fought and he went on and on and on... Finally stopping stated how he was also stabbed by his best friend and ended up in who know where?

Other than the world, black knight and royals feeling very sorry for the Lelouch look a like, Milly just wanted to dress him up, she got twins! Suzaku and Lelouch couldn't help but feel that Kamui's story is mirroring what happened to them.

"Were you about to stab him?" Kamui's innocent question had a ripple effect, the guy was holding a sword, not as fancy as the ones for the end of the world though. Lelouch glared, Suzaku tried to defend himself while quite a few people glared at him.

 _Author's Note: A cross over between CLAMP, Kamui Shiro is the main character of X or X/1999, one of CLAMP's most beautiful works, using the anime. Recommend the manga or anime, not movie. Spoilers here, but can't help it..._

 _Lelouch: So... Someone falls on Suzaku and it ruins my plans..._

 _Kamui: Why am I in a universe with a similar plot line?_

 _Suzaku: *Sigh* I'll take it, one of her milder ideas._

 _Milly: Dress up time!_

 _Lulu and Zaku runs for the hills, while Kamui is confused while being dressed up... Now's he's in a dress and confused._


End file.
